Honey Wins Again
Honey is our 10 year-old Labrador retriever. She is red and a sweet middle-aged lady.
She doesn’t know it, but I’ve had an ongoing competition with her for a number of years now. I’ve yet to win.
This competition happened at least three times a week — but recently is happening daily.
In the past couple of months, I have started to practice something called Intermittent Fasting. To do this, one eats all meals in an 8 hour window, and then eats nothing for 16 hours until the next 8 hour feeding time comes.
I typically eat between 10AM and 6PM and fast between 6PM and 10AM the next day. Simple.
Honey, being a dog, likes to sleep most of the day. After her breakfast at 8 and her morning constitutional, she retires to our bedroom to sleep under Debra’s desk.
At around 10AM, I prepare my first meal of the day. It’s always the same. I put a whole avocado in a bowl, mix in some salt, pepper, and turmeric powder, then add greens and a tin of wild salmon.
And this is the start of the game. I win if I can empty the salmon water from the tin into Honey’s dish before she comes downstairs.
She’s undefeated.
Every day, it goes something like this:
- Cut the avocado and scrape into a bowl.
- Add the condiments and mush together.
- Retrieve the tin of salmon from the pantry as quietly as possible.
- With can opener in hand, cough, turn up the music, or otherwise make a noise as the blade of the can opener punctures the tin with a noticeable ‘pfff’.
- Continue to make said noise as the can opener does its thing.
- Walk over to Honey’s dish and use the lid to squeeze the salmon water into Honey’s dish.
- Dump the salmon into the bowl and mix it all.
Inevitably, somewhere between steps 4 and 5, Honey is on her way down the stairs, tail wagging, ready to lap up her morning nectar.
So Honey has never lost a competition she doesn’t even know she is part of. And tomorrow morning I will try in vain yet again to break my winless streak.